Archive by Author | RB

Joda Goes to a Bar

She walked into the bar in the middle of the forest. The place had a musty stench, just like the humans who occupied it. She looked around at the drunken men, poorly trying to entice women to their side. To her right, she saw the yang, lonely men who sat at the bar, drinking their woes away. Both groups were disgusting, but she preferred the quiet to the idiocy.

She walked toward the barman on her right, and gruffly ordered a beer. The tone of her voice caused a few stares in her direction. She stared right back. Not many men could handle a solemn stare by a woman, especially in these parts. The crowd looked away, feeling embarrassed but not entirely sure why.

Joda knew why. Men were weak. So were women. And when confronted with someone as un-apologizing as her, well, that usually went in one of two ways. With only two options however, it was unlikely she would ever find her equal.

As she drank away her sorrows with a beer as disgusting as how she felt, she looked over at a rowdy group of men by the door. They laughed as though they had no cares in the world, catcalling women, and happy whether they were rejected or not. Idiots. They would never notice a woman as strong as her of their own volition for the true beauty she had. One of the men however, stared back at her with an eerie quietness about him. Looks like option 2 was about to start.

She stared back, unflinchingly, ready for the man to pick a fight with her. She quickly began to assess him. He seemed strong, and had rolled up his sleeves showing off his muscles. His face was heavily bearded, with a solid scar going down from him forehead to his cheek, covering his right eye. He wore overalls, with a red checkered shirt underneath. However, his hair seem well maintained, cut short and clearly groomed, as opposed to the rest of the slobs in this bar. Suddenly it hit her, he’s not drunk. What? A rugged man in a bar in the forest, surrounded by his friends, but not drinking? Something was up. He clearly was used to having bar fights, and apparently not gentlemanly enough to keep from fighting a woman. She was prepared now.

He stood up and began walking over to her, as she refused to break eye contact.

“Hello.”

What? Why was he greeting her? This was an unusual start compared to most of her fights. She didn’t respond.

“My name’s Rizer. I saw you observing me from across the room, and I thought it would be more polite of me to offer you a drink, as recompense for having to look at my ugly mug.”

What? Her confusion intensified. What was he doing? None of his behavioral patterns made sense. He was almost treating her as she’d seen other men do to women – with decency.

“Joda.”

“What?”

“My name’s Joda.”

“Well it’s a pleasure to meet you Joda! What kind of drink can I offer you? It seems like your beer is almost out. If I may be so pertinent, there’s a house brew the offer, but it’s never on the menu. You have to ask for it. It’s got a great bodied-flavor! Lucky you ran into me, huh?” He winked at her.

There was no way she was going to be able to analyze this situation properly. His stance was not one of a fighter, and he just kept talking to her, without any seemingly duplicitous reason.

“HO HO. Looks like Rize found himself a woman as pretty as him, if you can call her a woman.” One of the men from the table Rizer had came from bellowed. Rizer threw him a glare.

“I think that’s rather uncalled for and unkind of you Gerth. I’d have you apologize to the lady here. I’m so sorry Joda; I have no words to excuse his actions.”

Joda’s glare switched swiftly from Rizer to Gerth; looks like she had just misjudged where option 2 was coming from. She knew she shouldn’t have let herself get comfortable. The barman put the House Beer in front of her. She chugged it, keeping eye contact with Gerth the whole time. He seemed displease.

Gerth stood up, and ambled over, with a man who clearly tried to convey he had confidence, but was only just compensating for his insecurities. These were more like her usual brawls. She was prepared.

“Well, well little Missy. Seems like you caught our boy here. Though with what, I’m not too sure. That robe of yours ain’t too becoming, and you ain’t done yourself up nothing either. MAYBE” he started off, increasing his voice so the whole bar could hear, “WE GOT OURSELVES AN ENCHANTRESS HERE.” A gasp and some murmerring followed. Accusations such as that were not taken lightly here.

Several years ago, rumors had spread through the region like wildfire, of an enchantress who had become the item of worship for a cult over the mountains. One day, something angered the enchantress, and she murdered her entire following. This was hardly surprising to the townsfolk. After all, enchantresses weren’t to be trusted. But the gravity of the accusation still stood.

“You’re taking this too far Gerth. Back off” Rizer said standing up. He evenly matched Gerth in height, another fact that seemed to bother Gerth.

“Back off man. Let’s take this outside lady, where we can discuss in private. Maybe you can provide me with some service, and see if these accusations don’t go away?” He said with a smirk, befit of disgusting human like himself. He unexpectedly pushed past Rizer, to grab Joda. He never knew what hit him.

Joda grab his outstretched arm, and twisted herself under his arm, forcing him into a flip in the air. He would’ve landed badly on his back, had she not been faster. She kicked him from the top of his back forcing him up. She snapped back his arms, which promptly forced him to land of his arse. His back facing her. She grabbed his head between both her hands, and snap. The threat was gone. Option two was always the more fun option. Got her some exercise on her slow days. She knew what would come next. The open mouths and gasps of the crowd behind her. She turned around. Rizer had the same look on his face. She sighed. She knew there was no one there to be her equal. She looked away and walked out of the bar, without paying her tab of course.

 

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Purple Mattress Update!

Hello Friends,

You may be wondering what ever happened with this mattress that we made such a big deal out of unraveling?

Please note this article for reference: https://newopinions.wordpress.com/2017/08/05/purple-mattress-unraveling/

Well, to be quite honest, a lot.

The first 100 days was fantastic, as advertised. The mattress is soft, yet sturdy enough to feel like it’s supporting your weight. It’s some of the best sleep I’ve ever gotten. I have a tendency to sleep on my stomach and occasionally my side. That’s pretty uncomfortable on conventional mattresses because it either hurts my arm, or I’m not breathing because I sink too far into the mattress. This mattress truly has a “just right” type quality.

Heating is another issue. Most mattresses have so much stuff in them, it’s very easy to overheat, especially in the summer. The Purple clearly allows for ventilation, allowing for air to actually travel through the mattress. It’s an usual feeling as we still have “normal” pillows, and the heat difference between them is a little jarring. The mattress manages to always stay cool, and is almost cold when you change positions. Conversely, the pillows are so hot, that my face starts to feel sticky from sweat. Not a pleasant image, I’m sure.

So for me, clearly, this is the best mattress I could’ve asked for. Inspyre on the other hand, is not such a happy camper.

As I mentioned, the first 100 days were great. Eventually, however, he started to notice back and shoulder problems. It seems for individuals who are used to hard mattresses and find them comfortable (like a Costco hard mattress), the Purple is actually too soft and not providing enough support. That being said, if you’ve read Inspyred’s bio, you know he’s a software engineer and sits at a desk all day, as well as ruining his body further by constantly juggling or spinning poi. I’m personally more likely to attribute his pain to all of that, but he does insist that he sleeps better on the floor than on the mattress….so I’d like readers to keep in mind that level of hardness.

Personally, it’s a little pricey but I find it well worth the price. 8/10. Inspyre would give it a 6.5/10.

 

Website Update

Hello Friends! Greetings from the deep beyond. I bet you all thought the site was dead huh? WELL LO AND BEHOLD – we are alive and well!

There are a few reasons for our disappearance, a lot of them including life updates.

#1. Insyped and I got married! Yes, for all of you who didn’t know, we had a large Indian wedding, and apparently you don’t get to settle into married life by yourselves until your 8 months in. So the dust has finally started to settle.

Basically what that means is we have a lot of NEW content coming through, largely based in our Travel section, and a new section we’re going to have dedicated just to explaining what indian weddings (specifically Sikh, Punjabi) look like! That’s going to take a bit of time to put all out so you’ll need to patient with me.

Also, in case you all haven’t noticed, we have added another writer to our staff, Ms. illume! Please check her out and give her the support you’ve always provided me.

Finally, many of you may be aware that I’m currently based in the US. A LARGE reason I haven’t been able to get myself to write is simply the depression I’ve been facing constantly from the overwhelming political atmosphere. I had several articles planned out about Hillary and the investigations of her and Trump, but I could not get myself to finish them. Not to mention information was changing so quickly, by the time I finished an article, 3 pieces of information had already changed.

As such, a few things happened. 1. I’ve deleted my facebook. It was a big decision but the depression + the Zuckerberg trials really convinced me this was the right course of action. As such, I feel like a weight has been lifted of my shoulders and I have the motivation to write again! 2. I will, at least for the time being, not be addressing politics as I have previously. Usually, I have in depth, analytical posts about a topic-of-the-day. If I have any type of political update at all, it’ll be superficial.

So I hope you all are excited as I am for this new chapter! We’ll be adding lots of new content going forward, maybe even some podcasts~

Thank you for your continual support and I hope you’re all having a wonderful day.

RB

Short thoughts on Drumpf

If you voted for Trump, you should absolutely be ashamed of yourself. Forget the politics for two seconds. Let’s talk about the person. You voted for a man who is personally responsible for a 90% increase in hate crimes against muslims, increased attacks on SIKHS (people who haven’t done ANYTHING except be brown, wear a turban, and allowed ignorant people to confuse us with Muslims), who makes fun of the disabled, who doesn’t believe in women’s health rights OR gender rights, who COMPLEMENTS the worst leader the world has seen since WWII (Putin), who let’s forget if he actually did or didn’t rape women, he sure as hell thinks it’s acceptable and PERPETUATES rape culture and sexual assault, and who has the temperament of a small child but somehow has nuclear codes now. What you’re saying is that your own white privilege is more important to you than the safety and health of ALL of these communities, because he’s actually threatened all these communities. You’re saying that my health and my family’s wellbeing doesn’t matter to you, because along with myself, I’ve never seen so many people absolutely terrified to live in a country they love. And most importantly, you’ve never had your family members physically attacked and bombed because they’re different, so beyond not even understanding the fear your friends face, you clearly don’t have the empathy either. And any rebuttal or excuse you make for him, clearly shows HOW little your understanding is, or worse, you do understand and don’t care. You are absolutely and undeniably shameless.

Some General Life Advice

I’m not usually very sentimental on here, but I had something I felt was important to share. I’m going through a time in my life right now, where I am genuinely happier than I’ve ever been, and every day is a blessing. I have a new wonderful job, I love the people I work with, I’m getting married to an AMAZING man who is my soul mate, who himself comes from an amazing family, an incredibly supportive network of friends and things honestly couldn’t be better right now.

That being said, I have a lot of loved ones who are going through incredibly difficult periods in their lives right now. And I went through that same difficulty myself for that last 8 years or so. So, I wanted to reach out to those I love, and let you know… IT GETS BETTER.

I promise, God rewards good people. If you are kind from the bottom of your heart, you will go through terrible trials and tribulations that seem completely unjustified. Push through it. These are tests that you must pass BECAUSE you are an amazing human being, and after it’s all said and done, everything will come together. That is my RB-Guarantee. Look around yourself for proof. Do you notice terrible people have it really easy early in life, and suddenly, everything crashes and burns? If you are good, YOU WILL BE OK.

That being said, there’s things you can certainly do to help. Excuse my impertinence, but I have some guaranteed tips that will help ease the pain in the mean time.

1. Learn to accept that you are a wonderful human being, even with your faults. This is easier said than done. DON’T BE SO HARD ON YOURSELF.

2. MEDITATE. Meditation makes everything easier and it calms you down and decreases your cortisol levels! Lots of health benefits!

3. Know that things WILL get better. I’m sure you can use your own life’s examples to validate that.

4. Think Positive! The world isn’t against you. It’s making you stronger so you can easily accomplish your goals later in life and find your “The One”.

5. Relax. Seriously. It’s hard to take time for ourselves in this day and age and just not do anything. Both your mind and body require time to rebook and re-energize. Keeping yourself busy isn’t giving you time to repair yourself. Sometimes, it’s good to just sit, do nothing, and not worry about the billion things you have to do. I promise you will be more efficient after a break.

And FINALLY 6. Embrace your faults and know that you can always improve yourself. Work on introspection and making yourself better! BUT, remember it’s not make or break. There’s no deadline. You’re doing it for yourself! If you feel like you’re not making progress fast enough in ANYTHING, that’s ok!

And remember, if you have ANY problem at all, I’m always here to talk to a friend, whether we haven’t talked in a week , in 7 years or really ever. Myself and I’m sure your support network are always here for you!

I hope this post helped even one person. Other than that, I hope everyone has an absolutely wonderful week! 

 

~RB

The Bachelorette Season 12: A Review (Part 10)

Hi All! Let’s jump straight into it. This week is the “Men Tell All” episode! Predictions: Chad shows up and somehow starts a fight with everyone! Let’s continue.

Chris starts the show off with Chad is here, and a quip about how security is too. The entire beginning of the show is basically just a giant advertisement for “The Bachelor” franchise. There was a lot of time spent promoting “Bachelor in Paradise”. Moving forward, the guys all get introduced, with the exception of Chad, who Chris says will be brought out later.

They focus a bit on the heat between Derek and Alex throughout the season. Alex regularly called Derek manipulative. Nick B. (St. Nick) however, steps in and defends Derek saying that Alex is manipulative and argumentative. Wells points out that Alex is a War hero, and since he’s spent most of his time in conflict, he probably feels most comfortable with it. The guys point out that Alex put more energy into taking down Chad than he did Jojo. Frankly, this whole nonsense is going to take up 100 pages if I write it all, so let’s just stick with key points.

Chad finally comes out, with a security guard. Chad calls the guys fake. We find out that Chad has actually gone out of his way to date Grant’s ex and Robby’s ex! Wow. Apparently, he seeked them out to specifically find out if the guys left them for the show, they said yes, and he has had intimate relationships with both. Wow dude. Wow. And then, out of nowhere, Nick B. tries to get into a fight with Chad? Not sure why. The only thing Chad keeps doing throughout all his interactions with the guys is cracking jokes about them and being generally intolerable. He even goes so far as to say that Robby has threatened his ex that if she does any interviews that he’s “going to come and get her” which the rest of the guys immediately call BS on. Chris asks Chad if there’s anything he regrets doing, and Chad, obviously, says no. Apparently, his mom would have thought everything he did on the show would have been funny.

Chris announces that both Chad and Luke will both be on Bachelor in Paradise. And time for Luke to come up! He says that he still loves her, but he just wants her to be happy. He mentions that Jojo taught him to love again and open up, but to have that and then having it end so suddenly gave him a lot of panic attacks afterwards.

Next up, Chase! He says he’s still in love with her, but confused as to why she offered him the fantasy suite if she didn’t want to be with him. That question will be answered when Jojo comes up! Can you see how they drag this on?

Jojo’s in the hot seat now! Luke asks Jojo if he had said I love you earlier, would it have made a difference? Jojo says that on the last date, he just wouldn’t say the word love, and that really bothered her, but once he said I love you, she felt maybe he was saying it forced and she just felt she had to stick with her gut. Chase goes up to give Jojo a hug, but then asks her his burning question. Jojo says she just felt anxious about hearing I love you from him, and there’s nothing scary about the words but that’s when she realized what she was feeling, and that she still feels guilty over it. James Taylor has his turn, and uses the time to tell her that she’s the whole package. Chad interjects here, and uses the opportunity to call out Robby for breaking up with his girlfriend for the show and to call Jordan a liar and cheater, but “wishes her the best”. The crowd starts cheering for her to go off on him, but she tells them that he loves the attention and she’s not even worth her breath.

Now the guys have the floor to say whatever they want to say to her. Alex wants to tell Jojo that even though it hurt, he’s glad she had the ability to be so strong in all her decisions. Vinny says that it sucks, that she canceled the cocktail party his last night, because he would have looked forward to some alone time with her. THEN, his mother pops up from the audience and tells Jojo that if she wanted a perfect guy, she missed him!

After that, they showed some bloopers from the show, and we’re onto next week, “The Final Rose!”

RB’s Psych Corner

I have to say that there isn’t much here other than either Chad is crazier than I thought he was, or these executive producers are really invested. Regardless, I’m glad this nonsense is almost over because I’m confident she’s going to make the wrong decision.

Onto next week, a three hour special, which I’ll put all into one article!

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